Belief

Want to believe the words

You paint out for me

Want to believe the honeyed words

From your sweet lips

But sometimes

You

                Make It

                                Difficult

Maybe I’m just

Sensitive,

Misreading phrases,

Scrutinizing phrasing and syntax

How do we know

Who is wrong?

Perhaps neither person

Is wrong.

What if we are just

Made of perception:

Brains with mouths,

Led by the fragile heart?

Would that make us illogical?

I want to believe you.

I do believe you.

But there’s a sea with

Raging storms made of

Uncontrollable factors like

People, patterns, places.

I can’t fight off the world for you,

But I know I’ll try anyway.

Weighed down by your

Willingness to be sweet against

People,

Determined to be selfish,

I know you’ll try too.

Maybe one day

We’ll win our battles together

If You Exist,

Help

Me

Be A

Better

Person,

Help me vanquish my ghosts, Let me face my fears

Let me fight my monsters and Conquer my skeletons

Allow

Me

To Be

A

Better

Me,

And

Live

How I

Want to

Be Known

Red Haze

Red haze

Burning eyes

Anger like sparks that need a place to go,

A person to spear

The red haze eating through me,

Pushing its’ way through my system

Outward, making my decisions for me

Spikes, swords, spears,

Impaling innocent victims with my

Sharp words

Anger turning my insides black,

My heart to coal,

My friends to enemies.

Keeping me from what I want,

From my happiness,

From confidence.

Anger pushes away

All thoughts, kindness, happiness

And replaces it with

Hate, malice, harsh words

When will I be above

This ugly emotion,

These irrational

Thoughts?

Perception

Unfaithful words.

Changeable, twisting things

Simple meanings warped by

Perception

What are we to be

Defined

By such changing things?

What does that make me?

Perception,

Twisting the best words

Into curses

Changing strangers into

Hideous Monsters

Changing adults into

Mocking dictators

Changing friends into

Bad habits

Are we all ruled by the heart?

How can someone make a

Choice

Without being twisted

By an unfaithful heart

And its’ sharpened words?

Media Sea

The truest words you ever heard:

A lie of the heart

What you believe

Now,

You’ll lose

Tomorrow.

A victim to my memory,

My changing nature.

My only

Constant

Is my easily swayed heart.

If a sad poem can

change

The color of my world,

How can I find

Myself

Amid a sea of media?

Music Addiction

Let the music pull me up and

Push me through

The room, the air, the stars.

Let it contort me,

Twist me,

Breathe through me.

Let me dance

Like I live music.

Let me live like I breathe

In musical notes.

Flashing through my brain

Jumpstarting my synapses

Adrenaline kicking.

Let the sound

Carry me away

From this life, this world, these people

And throw me into its realm

Where I can fly through the clouds

Free in a matrix of starry-sweet sounds.

Butterfly Thoughts

Inattention

Taking from me

My most valuable asset.

Turned into a vegetable,

Lost in thoughts,

Rumination without purpose

--

Thoughts flying to and fro

Butterflies flitting

Half-formed insects,

Cocoons barely shed.

Wings half-grown,

Thoughts abandoned before conclusions

Butterflies dead before flight.

Stranger

I want to see each snowflake as it falls

And I wish when they melt away,

They take the ice in our hearts

But the snow turns to black mud

And the distrust remains

One day, how will we know our neighbor?

Or have a conversation with our child, our parent?

We are separated by walls of thought,

Spanning our consciousness,

Isolating us in doubt and fear

Does every human lie?

Because I can lie, does that mean I do?

Am I lying to myself?

Because you can lie, does that make me a liar?

Do my words ring false when they are my truth,

But your lie?

Teach me to surpass boundaries,

I want to speak to every person I know as my brother or sister

I want to know you like I know me.

Will you be my friend?

Can we trust each other?

Yew Alley (Hounds of Baskerville)

*written in eighth grade (several years ago) about the Hounds of Baskervilles (a Sherlock Holmes story) by Sir Conan Doyle.


Yew Alley
My breath puffs in front of me
swirling, smoky spheres
My feet hit the ground
Snow crunches underfoot
White, wet wonderland
Frozen
Cold wind sears through my coat
My body hunched into my coat
Shuddering as the cold cuts into me
Freezing, frigid freshness
Icy Pain
The gate sits small in front of me
Holding against the weather
Standing small in the storm
Strong as I am not
Protect, prevail, peaceful
Disappointment
My mouth takes a breath from the cigar
The point of light in darkness
The warmth in the cold night
The star at night
The hound in the moor
Dark, dank devil
Evil
Ash falls to the ground
A howl breaks the silence
My feet slap at the ground
Pushing to go harder
The howl is closer, a pain in my back
Shoving me to the ground
Fiery, ferocious, fallen
Betrayal
She never came
My heart pumps faster
Blood coursing through me
My heart beats as the demon enters it
Betrayal hits every nerve
My hands dig furrows into the Earth's skin
The end is near
The end is here

Chocolate Cocaine

Like kisses from a bee

They sting and bite,

Fester and bleed

Wounds of the heart, dragging me down

 --

How could you say that to me?

Hypocrite of beliefs,

 Don’t preach to me about your insecurities

I don’t need any more

 --

Poisonous words,

Hurting me/Hurting you

I don’t mean to bite.

I want to be happy

 --

How can I get better when you don’t believe me?

Turning my cure into a fear

Turning meds into addiction

Like chocolate cocaine

A Familiar Stranger

A thorn under my skin,

The bonds of blood

Caring too much for someone who

Hates.

Me.

--

My sister and I are different

She lives one way, I live another

We like different things, see things differently, value different things

 An understatement

--

Even if she grew up,

Would I forgive her?

How can I forgive

This hurt?

How can someone

Grow out of their hate?

--

My sister and I may never be friends.

Familiar Strangers