I'm...

I’m a poem unheard:

Fire, under the surface

Thorns, under the skin

Life’s barrier is thin

I’m graffiti, painted over:

Two-dimensional woman,

Straight face and sad eyes

The world’s muted my cries

I’m a drowned rat:

Swept away by the tide

For reaching too far

Still looking for a star

I’m a disfiguring scar:

Covering the person underneath

Stretched across a pretty face

From all eyes, I hide her grace

I’m a fallen angel,

Carrying a filth within

Wings torn out of the sky,

Unceasing need to fly

Life

I wake up wanting to sleep,

But once up, I never want to sleep again.

I’m eating maybe half the time

I don’t leave my room long enough to do much

Besides find food and piss

I can’t get the numbing fog out of my head,

But it’s what keeps me alive, so maybe I don’t want to

I can’t focus on much of anything

Even my favorite things can’t haul me back

Smiling doesn’t quite hurt, but I strain all day,

I know it will, maybe soon

Getting dressed is like putting on a crown of thorns

I don’t want to get off of the floor

I miss feeling like I’m ready for my life to happen

I’ve never felt so far from “the best friends in the world”

And the rest of the world too

I’m so close to death

That it makes the mundane seem surreal,

Schoolwork makes me want to laugh

I don’t even try to talk

I’ve had the same conversations before

It gets me in trouble, anyway

I can’t seem to enjoy myself doing anything

Everything stresses me out,

Everything else isn’t worth my attention

I hope I sleep all day

Since the day’s a waste of time

And, of course, there’s the rage

Towards the world,

And everyone in it

Towards my parents,

For being deaf in both ears

And unaware of the fact

Towards my friends,

For isolating me

And for the fucking drug use

(Come on, guys!)

I can’t believe that this is my life

…I was born for this?

It’s making me miserable,

I’m better off dead

I’m tired of this shit