Unconditional Forgiveness

I can't forgive you for when you let him hit me,

And told me that I was asking for it

I can’t forgive you for when you put yourself first again

And again and again when you were busy or tired

Or just not ready for my problems

I can’t forgive you for when you locked me inside my own head,

Turning the key with your parental authority

And my obedience

I can’t forgive you for your judgmental personality,

Though I pity you for it, since you’ve blinded yourself through it

I can’t forgive you for your cruelty,

Telling me why I wasn’t good enough for you,

Why I wasn’t a real person,

How I needed to change while you smiled
And told me that I could use my life to do

Whatever made me happy

I can’t forgive the way you don’t hear a word I say,

Even when I’m writing my own eulogies over dinner

I can’t forgive the way you minimize my stresses,

Ignoring the suicide,

The depression,

The injuries,

Complaining about your new car’s heated seats

I can’t forgive you for fucking me up,

Turning a happy home into a straight jacket and a padded cell

And a happy kid into a suicidal one

I can’t forgive you for the things you did…

But if I ever want to know my mother…I’ll have to try